Today, I learned something new.. that life, is not just about studying.... University, is not just about GPA... but, should I pursue my innate interest, to chase back the 'drama queen' throne?? should I sacrifice my future bloody GPA...?
there are people who are clever, yet pursuing their own interest... yes, there are.... But, can I be one of them? I cant help staring my eyes over the stage, feeling the willingness to be there... I can see what I could do better on...
but then, I doubt my step.... there is a barrier to entry that myself created... If only I did not fall... If only life is not just 24 hours... then and there, I would see myself as a girl that I wanted.... now the choice is here.... which dream should I pursue, drama queen? or simply GPA princess...
but, what is successfull in my eyes? Graduated from my university with a gratious GPA but fill my days with studying and studiying, and envy those who are in stage? or, just pursue a normal GPA and give my self a little time to pursue my interest but then get stressfull because of my GPA is dropping? ......
I dont know, its just a choice... I am willing to sacrifice somethings in my life, but my heart and my logic always confront.. I wanted to be what I want to be, but things around chasing me... Pride, peers, interests, friends, loneliness... what?
am I being myself? or am I just a little princess who is hiding behind my anger?
what?! anger of my self, that I cant cope with anymore, that falls unto others?!? no...
this is not what I wanted to be...
please, let me repeat my days in University, the time before my fall... the days before my change... oh yes, I am not the sweet little princess that u dreamed of anymore my dear... I'm sick.. I just cant tell u, but yes, I am....
oh no... can anyone show me a way back to my REAL life????????
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